The Holy Goose Bible

1:SWAN

One day, an embden goose, our lord and savior, appeared in outer space. He then created earth, modeled it by hand, and created two beings known as Cow and Bull. They were allowed to eat any fruit in the world except for the Tree of the Goose. One day, an evil being, known as the Shark of Death, rises from the water and convinces Cow to eat the forbidden tree of the Goose. He said "Thy shalt eat the forbidden tree to save me." Cow was manipulated by the Shark and eventually ate the fruit and convinced Bull to eat it too. The Goose found out and took away their skin and let them burn in DisasterTown. The Holy Goose, our lord and savior, then replaced the two with St. Duck and St. Swan. The Shark was evaporated and placed inside the middle of Earth's core.

2:SWAN

The Holy Goose, also known as the Great Leader of All, made himself and the Saints immortal. St. Duck created more ducks by making her have the ability to reproduce asexually, and Saint Swan did the same. They had children (that are identical) which eventually spread to up to 100 million ducks and swans. All descendants of The Great Leader of All, the Saints, or everyone who believes in Gooseism is known as a gooseling.

1:GOOSE

All gooselings are immortal. The Holy Goose protects all gooselings. Goosinners automatically get less than one hundred years of life. The Goose is god. The Goose made the Earth. The Goose made life.

2:GOOSE

The Goose cannot coexist with the 2oose. The 2oose must worship the goose (if it doesn't conflict his real-life religious values).

1:RAINBOWHAIRS

The Dancing Monster (St. Rainbowhairs), St. Duck, St. Swan, and The Goose are all omniscients. Nobody can stop them. All gooselings must worship them and repent their sins everytime a gooseling despises The Goose or the other holy beings.

2:RAINBOWHAIRS

Saint Rainbowhairs can turn into a Godzilla anytime, this new status is known as Goozila. He can stomp on KeyArena in Seattle Center (now Climate Pledge) and destroy any building

1:HOMOSAPIEN

All human gooselings are controlled by The Boy (St. Homosapien). You must trust his word.

2:HOMOSAPIEN

The 2oose is a horrible being that wants to destroy and make The Goose's empire fall. Do not let her decieve you.

1:DUCK

All gooselings must worship every day at 11:30 AM at Saint Duck's Church of the Goose. Everyone is welcome except 2oose.

2:DUCK

Goose.